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24 hours - King Rat
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24 hours
Mom can barely suction herself anymore. There's a long shot procedure to use Botox to shut down saliva production. If her doctor has done the referral, and if the ENT specialist will still do it, and if it works, then my mom won't choke to death in the near future.

I told her and dad today that we'll need to start with 24 hour care shortly. Either the long shot works, she gets 24 hour care, or she goes into a home (or the 4th choice, choke to death on her own saliva).

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but time is running out for her to be independent. Running out damn fast.

Both of them are fighting additional help. Mom spent 30 minutes today telling me how the case worker from the agency last week was rude and the caregiver wasn't bright. I don't want to get into why she's wrong, but she is. Definitely not as smooth as the first person we hired, and that wasn't very smooth.

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11 comments or Leave a comment
thugg1ns From: thugg1ns Date: July 15th, 2008 06:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Rough... Unlikely that there will be, but let me know if there's anything I can do.
thevfrchick From: thevfrchick Date: July 15th, 2008 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry to hear of this, Phil. You're in my thoughts..
a_muse_d From: a_muse_d Date: July 15th, 2008 06:14 am (UTC) (Link)
i hope they accept the extra care. it doesn't sound like any good to be where she's at.
the1pony From: the1pony Date: July 15th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Accepting that one can no longer be independant is damned hard. My mom had a hell of a time with it. I hope your folks can accept the truth and do what needs doing soon.
faerieburst From: faerieburst Date: July 15th, 2008 11:52 am (UTC) (Link)
I am keeping my fingers crossed that the long shot works. She sounds very much like she wants every moment of independence she can get.

You are in my thoughts, darlin'.

gargoylettelc From: gargoylettelc Date: July 15th, 2008 02:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry to hear this. I do think you are right for putting your foot down at this point. Good caregivers can be hard to find, and I see the wide range daily, but she needs it at this point, and unfortunately doesn't have the luxury of time to shop around. It's a matter of safety at this point. Hang in there!!
evillinn From: evillinn Date: July 15th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm really sorry, sweetie. I wish there were something of value to say. You are doing the right thing in your efforts to stay flexible yet firm. I'm sorry that this is on your shoulders, but I'm glad that your family has you.
la_roja From: la_roja Date: July 16th, 2008 02:16 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry to hear that. It would be an impossibly hard thing to face even if she wasn't resisting it. :(
From: gearwife Date: July 16th, 2008 06:36 am (UTC) (Link)

You're correct. What do we do next? J was with D today and will be there this weekend. I just changed my schedule at work to be more available. Tell me what to do. Where can I help more? I am at a loss. I want to be helpful, but not in the way.

I struggle with balancing dignity with sanity. I understand the need for independence, but see it is not possible.

A tough road lies ahead...Although I luv ya just fine, I wish we could come together over different types of situations...I wish you and I could bond over checking out boots rather than constantly evaluating life.

gkr From: gkr Date: July 16th, 2008 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't know what there is anyone can do.
From: gearwife Date: July 16th, 2008 06:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Then we shall all just be present and try to remind each other to smile. I shall seek catalogs of boots...you can be in charge of locating hot girls to model them... :)

Meanwhile, I am just focusing on being present and more available for J. I will do what I am told as I can. I sometimes struggle with the dynamics of things and desire to be more vocal/proactive- alas that is not my place to do so. Thus, I am cutting obligations, trying to take on more personal tasks from J and awaiting his instructions.

I'm always around if ya wanna grab lunch or something and to chat it up (or strategize) (or to vent) (or to be distracted)...for whatever that may be worth...
11 comments or Leave a comment