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Passive-aggressive and non-confrontation - King Rat
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Passive-aggressive and non-confrontation

I realize spouting off about this is like yelling at people that the millennium didn't end in 1999, but instead in 2000. Still, I'm gonna point it out.

There's a difference between avoiding confrontation and being passive-aggressive. Most of what people label passive-aggressive is not actually passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive is when a person agrees with someone else or quietly acquiesces, avoiding confrontation, but then follows that up by passively resisting what they've agreed to.

Avoiding immediate confrontation by reaming someone via email instead of yelling at them in person? Yeah, that doesn't show a lot of guts, but it's not passive-aggressive. Undermining someone with back-handed compliments out of their earshot? There's a bit of passive-aggressiveness in that. But really, not even so much there. Agreeing to go see the latest Will Ferrell movie you know you'll hate, but then dilly-dallying so that you miss the start time, that's passive-aggressive.

Agreeing with someone about something you hate and then following through on what you agreed to do? Also not passive-aggressive. That's non-confrontational. And it sucks for you cause you got no spine and you are gonna be stuck doing things you don't want to do. But not passive-aggressive.

4 comments or Leave a comment
burgunder From: burgunder Date: January 23rd, 2007 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Clarity is good.

The more time I spend immersed in dead languages and wide sweeping language patterns where tree can be the same word as branch for purposes of cross language comparison, I'm finding that my already natural tendency to be contextual/slang-lexicon vs. semantic/definitive is increasing. The more I understand about language evolution and families of words, the harder time I'm having with word precision - which is something I think is imperative in most communication. It makes talking with people who tend to derive meaning from context an almost magical experience, and almost impossible to those who need absolute word precision.

I have to work on this.
gkr From: gkr Date: January 23rd, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
You shouldn't really listen to my rants like this. I'm just trying to be superior to others.

I know the proper use of fetish and you don't, so nyah nyah nyah!
burgunder From: burgunder Date: January 23rd, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ha! With Lauren as my best friend, I assure you that I have a very proper use of the word fetish. GRiN

There was nothing wrong with your rant. :-P
synabetic From: synabetic Date: January 23rd, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Good post, my man.

By the way, Comic nerds are the Imperators of Non-Confrontation. Kind of aggravating at first, but one gets used to it quick.
4 comments or Leave a comment