King Rat (gkr) wrote,
King Rat

Phone calls

I have a rather large issue with the phone. I made an attempt, if you can call it that, last year to deal with it. I hate calling people on the phone because I think that there's no way the other person will want to talk to me. It's somewhat of a self-esteem issue. I don't think I'm all that exciting, so I think other people won't either. And I'm personally okay with a regular, non-exciting life. I don't really want to be all that exciting.

But I do want to be able to talk on the phone. More specifically, I want to be able to call people. A few years ago I made a concerted effort to be less shy, and it has paid off extremely well. I'm orders of magnitude of better about being social that I was prior to 2001. My attempt last year was pretty short lived. I was going to call at least one person per day until I felt comfortable picking up the phone. Or rather, until I failed to pick up the phone. Kind of like going to the gym.

I didn't put it on my resolutions this year. Wanted to keep that list short and simple. Doesn't mean I don't want to address other things.

Over the last few days I've made an effort to pick up the phone. Told Jason I wanted to call a girl I find attractive, but that I hadn't. I always feel like I need to think of some reason to call first, or something interesting to talk about or do to get past this unexciting thing. And thinking of exciting things that I give a crap about is a lot of effort. Cause I don't find much very exciting (one of the reasons why I don't mind not being exciting… I don't find much all that exciting at all). By effort, I mean I'll run through a bajillion things in my head and dismiss them all as uninteresting, get tired of the exercise, and then have no reason to call the person. Yeah, this all only makes sense in my head.

So the thing I'm trying to do is call anyway, without necessarily having anything all that interesting or exciting. Just making myself pick up the phone and call cause I like and want to talk to the person on the other end.

So I've called this girl, and several other people as well, over the last 4 or 5 days. Just cause I want to talk to the person. Cause I find them interesting and exciting.

Hopefully this experiment will last longer than last year's.


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