King Rat (gkr) wrote,
King Rat
gkr

Another letter I will not send

I have a painting on my wall titled Another Letter I Will Not Write. It's by an artist named Amy Willis who dispayed her work at the coffee shop at which she was employed in 1998 in Boise. Coffee News I think it was called. I actually wanted another painting she did and the proprietor promised it to me but reneged despite my paying for it. I took two other paintings of hers instead, including the one with the letter.

I've written at least two letters (more counting rewrites) to someone who I recently found out has been lying to me for years. I've crumpled each up. I don't know what I want as a result. I'm a believer in the adage that my feelings are mine to own. I cannot simply dump them on another person to make them responsible. So I've written the letters in the hopes that getting them down on paper would help me resolve them, and that I would not send them. But I've also got an emotional drive to let the other person know how much I am hurt. It's telling me that this is a case where sending the letter is the right thing to do, but I don't know.

So I'm going to sit on it at least one more night and watch more episodes of Lost. I'm really hoping that something will clear up one way or the other, giving me direction.
Tags: personal
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