King Rat (gkr) wrote,
King Rat
gkr

On not holding grudges and closure

From today's Seattle Times: Man's family invites driver to service.

His wife, Heidi, said she holds no ill feelings toward Brian Campbell, the 21-year-old Everett man whose allegedly unsecured load came off his pickup Friday on Interstate 5 in Shoreline, causing a chain-reaction crash that killed her husband.

In fact, Coffee's family has invited Campbell to Saturday's memorial service.

Gavin had this great saying, Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for someone to die, she said Tuesday while surrounded by family and friends in the living room of her home.

I don't have any regrets. We expressed how much we loved each other. We lived life to the fullest we could.

Oh, how I wish more people took this attitude. Seriously, holding resentments eats so many people alive and holds them back from achieving their potential. And it illustrates that revenge is not a good way to obtain closure. I've never known anyone to truly feel like something is over after the person who got theirs in return. Usually the revenge isn't good enough. And in the few cases it is, about all that can be done afterward is dwell on the triumph. I rarely see anyone move on after seeking revenge.

Now, I know the folks who feel resentments at wrongs don't exactly choose how they feel. But how they live their lives and what they focus their mental energy on definitely leads them toward resentment.

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