Uncharacteristically, I've not posted much since New Year's. Just a word of warning that this will likely be a long and rambly entry with possibly not much point to it, updating my readers on all sorts of things been going on in my life and all sorts of deep and meaningful thoughts. Get your scroll bars ready.
I've been mildly depressed since I got back from New Zealand, getting worse during the month of december. There have been a bunch of factors contributing to this. My relationship with my ex wasn't so great. (More on the ex thing in another entry.) Work being stressful. Second anniversary of Matt's death. And the fact that I detest Christmas. It was masked somewhat by my thrill at Janet's visit.
It really came out this week with me losing all motivation to really do anything except exactly what I had to do. Mostly go to work. My apartment became somewhat of a sty. No food in the house.
I hate this. So it's about time to force myself out if it, even if it's just going through the motions at first.
I will be out tonight. Dancing. Flirting. Maybe even playing pool. I resolve to proposition at least one person to come home with me tonight. That also means this afternoon I must clean my place. Just in case. I'm forcing myself to be optimistic here, to counter the depression.
Last Sunday, I spent a hour or so hanging out with Deb (crack bored: Scourge of the Seas) in an attempt to walk around Green Lake. We got half way around and realized the cold wind would be in our faces, so we turned around so it would be blowing at our backs. I like her. Great conversations and she reads. I love women who read.
Monday I had dinner with Kim. She made a vegetarian chili that was delicious. Then we had dessert at Dillettante's (sp?). I pretty much always have fun with that girl when we hang out. And you'd almost not know that she was a scared repressed girl from Kansas most of the time.
Tuesday was supposed to have dinner with Krisha, but with the snow she was unwilling to brave descending the steep Queen Ann hillsides. Can't say I blame her.
I probably should have gone out last night. Instead I played Morrowind and chatted online with Erin. And then I watched porn and fell asleep.
Jason and I are supposed to go work out today. I'm waiting for him to wake up and call me.
My life is exciting. Who wants to marry me now? I know you all do.