King Rat (gkr) wrote,
King Rat
gkr

Nothing to say

Since the middle of last week, I've had nothing to say here really. It kind of bothers me. Partially because I've had a ton of things to do. That puts me in a mode where I mostly put one foot in front of the other and keep only a peripheral eye on the long term and the big picture.

It also means I've let my place go to crap again. And Deirdre is coming over for dinner tonight. Luckily, I've seen her place so I shall not be embarrassed. Haven't even figured out the menu yet, despite my promise to have done so this weekend. Taking the latest issue of Cooking Light with me on the bus this morning to figure it out.

Have I mentioned how excited I am to go to New Zealand? I know I've mentioned it a lot. And you might have caught my understated tone of excitement. I think this is going to vie with my driving trip across Canada as the best vacation I've had ever. And I have only touched the tip of the iceberg as far as things that I could possibly do and see there. Just two of the things I want to see is the hot springs beach, where supposedly you can dig a hole in the sand and the water that fills it is a hot spring. And black water rafting. There's a cave complex where you can raft on an underground river.

Anything else of note? Brother getting married this weekend. I know I've mentioned this before. This leaves me as the only living child left unmarried. Partially because I am the oldest, and partially because I seem like the settling down type, my mother expected me to get married a long time ago. She desperately wants grand-kids. I've only got about 7 more years that I'm willing to have kids. After age 40, I don't want to do it. I don't want to be the doddering father of a teenager at 60. To me, parenthood is a young person's gig. I'm still relatively young. Young enough fun. Old enough to avoid the stupid shit. I still don't know if I want kids though. I go back and forth all the time. Still, Dan getting married should take some pressure off me for six months to a year. After which it will start up again.

Hmm, I just wrote a whole paragraph on my brother's wedding referring mostly to myself. I'm glad for him. I barely know her. I hope she improves him a bit, takes the edge off some of his trying to hard that seems to infect everything he does. Then again, maybe that's just how he is with family, though I suspect not. He wants to impress, but doesn't really need to. If she can instill in him the thought that he's good enough just as he is… Plus, I'm always happy when a family member meets up with a hot and fancy girl. Both him and I have such complexes about being ugly and boring. Or had. Maybe he lost his a long time ago. I feel the same way about Jason, although he has no problem with that. I always get a twinge of vicarious pleasure when he dates someone cool. Score one for the dweebs and losers!

Time to go catch the bus. I love you all.

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