King Rat (gkr) wrote,
King Rat

Labels (editorial rant)

I accept blatant factual descriptions only, since I'm okay with people describing accurately what I do. However, that's it.

Blatant factual descriptions often take too long. Also, in context, people usually only care about on thing, they don't want the long description. THey want to know whether to reserve two places instead of one at the dinner table, whether they can ask you out, etc. But because of social conventions they will not ask directly. So then they ask if you are dating and they get a huge long drawn out explanation instead of a short answer that succinctly covers the gist of your relationship.

For instance, about 10½ years ago I asked out a lovely young lady named Tina. She accepted. I was jammin and called a friend of mine (Dave, if you must know) to brag about how I had just scored a date with the girl I had a crush on for a few months. Dave listens to me and says, I thought Tina was sleeping with Kelly. I have heard no such rumor, so I decide to go to the horse to look into his mouth.

I call Kelly. I ask Kelly, So are you dating Tina now? Kelly, not wanting to do anything so conventional as to label or define his relationship, jumped into a 15 to 20 minute description of what exactly their relationship was. I got really lost. I also really didn't care about all those details. I finally got a word in edgewise, and ask my question more bluntly, So are you sleeping with her or not? To which the answer was yes. Which answered my question about whether or not I was willing to go on the date with her.

See, although it might be commonplace in this community to ask are you two fucking or what? it is not necessarily okay elsewhere.

Yes, I know it's terribly unfair that people have to read between the lines sometimes and that forces them to label themselves. None of us want to be labeled or put into a box. All our relationships unique and beautiful flowers that cannot be properly classified.

We're all so different because we each wear our own unique shade of black.

Oh, and an epilogue to the story. Tina and Kelly dated for over three years. Then they got married. Six months later they filed for divorce because Tina's mother figure didn't like Kelly. Tina moved away after the divorce was final and none of us heard from her again. Five years after that, Tina's mother figure divorced her husband and ended up marrying (wait for it...) Kelly. We call that True Love on the Palouse.


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