And writing even a line about my brother in my last entry (friends only, sorry) has got me crying and sad now. Goddammit, I miss him. I want to curl up in a ball under the covers. Actually, I think I will do just that. Christmas is going to suck this year like nothing else.
I really don't want to be single. This is one of those moments where I really would like someone to just hold me and tell me ... i don't know. Not that it's all right. But that I'll live. And that they will hold me through this.