King Rat (gkr) wrote,
King Rat

Dating rant


I hear people whine about how they can't find dates in Seattle. Why oh why does the right person not want to date them? Are they not wonderful people? Are they not pretty?

You know what, sometimes they aren't beautiful flowers. It doesn't matter. Have you seen the ugly people wandering around with someone special on their arm? I have. There are lots of them. Frequently the someone special is a lot prettier than they are.

So what's the difference? Why can't everyone find dates? I'll reveal the secret right here. It's your freaking attitude! Dating is a contact sport. In order to get dates, one must ask people out. One must be meeting people. Staying at home by yourself, frequenting chat rooms to tell people that your dating life is hopeless, is going to get you not very far. People don't often give sympathy fucks. People are even more stingy in granting boyfriend/girlfriend status to such whiny nincompoops.

You must participate in your own life. Look for someone, don't wait for them to find you at home. Get out. GO dancing. Volunteer somewhere where you can meet people. Join an enthusiast club. Some of this you can even do online, and then make a connection with the people you meet there. You can improve your odds as well by doing things to improve yourself. Make yourself interesting. I took a mountaineering class last year primarily because I wanted to do something different that I could talk about. ANd it turned out to be fun (other than the part where I am completely out of shape).

Get some confidence. euterpe35 wrote recently about wishy-washy people who can't make a move to ask a girl out on a date. She's right. Don't be afraid of rejection. If you are afraid you aren't good enough, then get better until you feel you are good enough. And/or act as if you have confidence. If you do confident things, you will eventually be more confident.

How do I know this? It's not like I was Mr. Popular or just had friends and dates fall into my lap. I was shy and scared. I still feel that way a lot. I went years without a date. I'm still no Lothario, but at least I'll pursue people on occasion. It's amazing what happens when I do.

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