February 16th, 2007


Loading up the MP3 player

I'm loading up the MP3 player with podcasts, and then I am going to go to Chocolati and read and listen to podcasts.

I should be there from 4 on. I will also be out at ye olde dance clubbe.

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I really don't know where my head is at today. Drama abounds. Normally, I love watching other people's drama. Hell, if I could get a bit of detachment this latest outbreak would be amusing.

But I can't get a sense of detachment.

I read at Chocolati for a couple of hours, but I started getting really panicky. Now I'm home. The plan was to go to Pioneer Square bars with Jason tonight. I don't think I can do that. Make the panic worse. I need to be around a familiar place and familiar people. So that means the Mercury.

The question on my mind right now is: will having the conversation with her make things better, or worse? I'm so afraid that if I do, I'll forgive everything and just open myself to being stomped on again.