April 3rd, 2005


Up too early

No entertainment this early. 4.5 hours of sleep, and I can't get myself back to bed.

Last night was fun, despite not participating in the massive makeout in the center of the Mercury. Sure I'd kiss some of you, but then I'd feel obligated to kiss others. Either that or I'm a prude and uncomfortable with it. Or too scared. Or something.

I did grope a couple of people though. That was fun.

It was a flirty night.

Also, the getting laid part in my entry yesterday? That was part of the dream too.

Breakfast at Mae's Café with Jason after we both really drag ourselves out of bed. Movie with Erin tonight. Not sure what else I'll do.

Gospel according to John, 8:2-11

And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and the Pharisees bring a woman taken in adultery; and having set her in the midst, they say unto him, Teacher, this woman hath been taken in adultery, in the very act. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such: what then sayest thou of her? And this they said, trying him, that they might have whereof to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground. But when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground. And they, when they heard it, went out one by one, beginning from the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the midst. And Jesus lifted up himself, and said unto her, Woman, where are they? did no man condemn thee? And she said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn thee: go thy way; from henceforth sin no more.


I was raised in the Catholic church. Baptized Methodist I believe. My mom converted to Catholicism around the time I was five in part because my step-father was Catholic. I attended a non-denominational christian school, King's (neé King's Garden) until 8th grade, and a Jesuit-run Catholic high school, Seattle Prep. But I left the church in the middle of my confirmation class when I was 16 or 17.

I wish I could believe. Christianity just doesn't make much sense to me. I believe in god that doesn't make too hard a work of belief, to paraphrase J.B. Phillips, who is one of my favorite Christian writers. In other words, I don't believe that god tests followers. The doctrine of the trinity, and required belief in it for being saved, just doesn't ring true to me. There are many models of god that make sense to me. The Christian doctrine isn't one of them though. Neither is the Jewish doctrine or the Muslim doctrine or most other religious doctrines of which I know.

I wish these could make sense too me. The Catholic faith gives my mother a sense of meaning. In a whole nother fashion, it gives my step-father a sense of meaning. The church gives them a sense of community. People want to belong to something. Most do anyway. The Catholic church does that for millions. Billions perhaps.

Catholicism has taught me a lot. Both good and bad. In addition to it's creed, I do not agree with many of its practices and teachings. But I learned my sense of right and wrong from the catholic church. Do not kill. Give to others. Turn the other cheek. The list of morals values I hold dear comes mostly from Catholicism.

The head of the Catholic church died recently. I'm sure you've seen the news. A few folks have seen fit to use the occasion to raise up their one-sided criticisms of catholics and catholicism. Y'all can fuck right off. If you wanna rail on about anti-semitism, then lay off the anti-catholicism. If you want to make jokes about priests buggering boys, do it somewhere other than where I am. I may not be a catholic, but I treasure the church.

If you do not respect the Catholic church, respect me enough to stick to fair criticism when you are within my earshot (literally or figuratively). Several of my friends have not done this. You cheapen yourselves. You are losing my respect. Catholics have and continue to sin, collectively and individually. When I see you living the life of perfect altruism, spending your time and money in Rainier Valley helping blacks, serving in the soup kitchens downtown, or contributing your life similarly to Mother Teresa, then you may have the stature in my eyes to dismiss the church entirely. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Until then, hold such views if you must, but do it away from me if you value my friendship. If you don't, have a good time without me. You're entitled to feel that way.