March 9th, 2005

MacCauley

Report card, or Why I worry about my upcoming class

I pretty consistently got grades like this. These are from high school, but the pattern started in junior high and continued through high school and into college. I could never get and/or stay motivated enough to do my daily assignments. Consequently my junior high GPA was exactly 3.0, high school GPA sat below a 3.0 and my college GPA barely registered above 2.0. Not exactly showing improvement there either.

I'm not the same person I was then, of course. I underwent a life-changing experience in 1990 though and that didn't change anything. My second life-changing experience was in 2001, but I don't know if that will have any effect on my motivation. Will 10 years of working full time as a software developer with increasing levels of responsibility have made an impact on me? I sure hope so. But right now I have no evidence that any of this will translate into an increased ability to self-motivate.

Additionally, my experience outside of work indicates that nothing has changed. Gym attendance? Fell off. Personal programming projects? No progress. Other items that involve drudgery? Follow-through is minimal.

I'm kind of hoping that having a public journal will be an added incentive to keeping my act together. Though even that hasn't proved to be much help sometimes.

Level Date Course Title Grade Instructor Comments
9th 11 Dec 1984 SensoryDev B Holmes Recent improvement noted
Reveals perception and creativity
9th 11 Dec 1984 Eng Comp 1 B Baker Should use class time more effectively
Meets class standards but could excel
9th 11 Dec 1984 German 1 B+ Zaugg Participates with enthusiasm
9th 11 Dec 1984 Alg Trig B Enslin Participation/efforts and attituded are excellent
9th 11 Dec 1984 Psyc Phys B Ritchie Is cooperative and pleasant in class
Reveals perception and creativity
9th 11 Dec 1984 Affectivity C- Perry Does not consistently hand in journal
9th 11 Dec 1984 Phys Sci 1 A- Messina Synthesizes diverse concepts and data well
9th 11 Dec 1984 Devel Civ 1 B Krueger Shows responsibility/resourcefulness in assignments

9th 20 Mar 1985 SensoryDev C Holmes Fails to submit work consistently
Needs to spend more time preparing/completing work
9th 20 Mar 1985 Eng Comp 2 C Baker Missing some major assignments
Needs to spend more time preparing/completing work
9th 20 Mar 1985 German 2 B Zaugg Responds frequently and fluently to oral questions
9th 20 Mar 1985 Alg Trig 2 B Enslin Is cooperative and pleasant in class
9th 20 Mar 1985 Psych Phys B Ritchie Is cooperative and pleasant in class
Prepared for class and participates well
9th 20 Mar 1985 Affectivity C- Perry Does not consistently hand in journal
9th 20 Mar 1985 Phys Sci 2 A- Messina Quality of work is consistenly high
9th 20 Mar 1985 Devel Civ 2 C- Krueger Falls behind by failing to complete work on time
Needs to spend more time preparing/completing work
Missing some major assignments

10th 19 Jun 1986 Intro Music B Preston Reveals perception and creaivity
Shows high degree of interestin subject matter
10th 19 Jun 1986 Alg Trig II B+ Hardy Meets class standards but could excel
Does not challenge self to capacity
10th 19 Jun 1986 Eng Comp 6 NC Martin Puts forth little or no effort
10th 19 Jun 1986 German 6 B- Zaugg Is cooperative and pleasant in class
10th 19 Jun 1986 ValuesClar NC Plumis Does not consistently hand in journal
10th 19 Jun 1986 Biology 3 A- Niggemeyer Progress is satisfactory
Gives evidencec of reflection on subject matter
10th 19 Jun 1986 World Civ 3 B- Plumis Hard work has resulted in marked improvement
  • Current Mood
    pessimistic pessimistic
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DSL Upgrade

Qwest is offering an upgrade on DSL. I've had 640 Kbps service since I started it. But for the same amount of money I can get 1.5 Mbps. I just had to call in to switch the service. Same ISP. Everything should all of a sudden be faster by next Wednesday.

MacCauley

Halfway through paper

I started dealing with the big basket o' paper. I've recycled three quarters of it. The remaining stuff has been sorted into essentially four piles: bills, account statements, misc. (medical, car registration, etc.), and India trip. Most of the bills will get tossed once I ascertain that I no longer need them. I'll need to keep some to have a record for warranty purposes of when I purchased a few big ticket items. Then I get to file all that stuff away.

In the filing department, I'm breaking in drawer number three on my filing cabinet. That's over 50 inches of paperwork going back 20+ years. Most of it's investment related. A few miscellaneous items: my 4th step, a copy of a Rocky Horror script I printed in 1988, an article on the Washingtonians, some comic strips I clipped, a newspaper article on the murder of my landlord next door. Fun stuff.

I feel like I am slowly but surely getting my head back into the life game. I've never really been all that good at the life game. Pay bills late. Get screwed over by tenants. Purchase shit I don't use with good intentions. I have glimpses of what it feels like could be real adulthood. And I feel like I creep ever closer to it. I paused somewhat for a couple of years in the organization department while I worked on socialization. Now, I gotta get my head back in that. Start pushing in the motivation department (that's the class thing).

Why? Because there's a world to rule out there. And fuck-ups don't rule the world. People who get report card comments like I got don't rule the world. At least not if they don't change their ways so they live up to their potential. Frankly, I don't want to end up like a lot of sorry asses I know are gonna end up. I want to get to the finish line and be able to say, fuck yeah I enjoyed my life.