July 11th, 2004

Toilet

Darren's bachelor party

I cooked baked beans and made some pork for it. When Jason says I need you to help me cook something for this he really means something else. As long as I didn't have to round up people to go.

So let's get this part out of the way: It's a damn good thing there won't ever be another bachelor party for Darren. Cynthia, you better not die or divorce him, cause I don't think my eyes could take another one.

I left before the really stupid happened. And yet I still have a profound sense of regret.

I won't get excited by porn for a while now. On the other hand, the fake come shot in the midget porn was priceless.

I was really hoping that Ira would die when he thought it was a good idea to slide into the pool on a chair. I like Ira and everything, but if someone ends up dead at the bottom of the pool, you know it's a good bachelor party. Usually that role is reserved for the stripper, but since Darren didn't want strippers, we'll have to do with Ira.