For the record, I won't be writing up the quiz that's going around that asks everyone to answer questions about me. Although I occasionally solicit opinions about me in this journal, it's not something I generally want to do. In the last poll I did on the whole Secret Crush thing I decided to tack on at the end the secret crush question, about me that is. It kind of illustrates several of the reasons why I generally don't do this.
- I'm afraid to know the answer. I've had (and have) crushes on several (okay, quite a few) crushes on women I know and who are on my friends list. For various reasons I haven't pursued anything. Some very good reasons (I like to wait until a crush has passed before doing anything so my hormones don't interfere with my good judgment, attachment to other males), some bad ones (fear of rejection). I was somewhat hoping that I would find out if my crushees felt similarly toward me. But most didn't. Rejection. Suck. Suck. Suck. Still, it's good to know these things. But still the fear is there.
- People have a tendency to be nice in their answers, not honest. Several people indicated crushes who I strongly suspect didn't actually have a crush on me in the sense of the word that was implied by the Secret Crush poll. But they still said they did because I'm a nice guy and they like me generally. When soliciting compliments, this is encouraged even more. I tend to trust spontaneous feedback from acquaintances more than solicited feedback. (Yes, I realize these two reasons are somewhat at odds.)
- The format doesn't really encourage honest assessments. The questions are narrowly constructed. People who had crushes on me define the term quite differently. In many cases, further clarification is really needed. The same thing applies to this meme as well.
- While I want to be liked and validated on occasion, I am put off by constant attempts by some to receive validation. Have a spine people. So I try to steel myself to have a spine of my own. If I were looking at myself from a 3rd person view, would i be put off by the neediness of the attempt? Will other people? So I refrain from a lot of this style of meme.