October 13th, 2003



Yesterday, while making a quick dash for the bus, I managed to slip and fall. I knew I twisted the ankle, but the new boots I was wearing were pretty stiff and gave me great ankle support. Didn't sleep in the boots, and now the ankle is very sore and it's hard to put my weight on it.

Weather doesn't look quite warm enough to ride the bike to work today. No wait, it doesn't look like it will be quite dry enough. Cold I can deal with. Also, the ankle will make it hard to pedal up hills. Last week rode the bike Sunday, Monday, and Friday.

Still, I made the bus. A nice young punk yelled at the bus driver to wait for me and C-ko while I picked myself up. I then spent a nice day at Aurifice downloading software and being social.


Closing the deal

I'm not very good as closing the deal as Jason puts it. I have a great opening. Most often though, I transition into friendship rather than into relationship. Most women like me, and I'm sure a large percentage would date me, at least for a bit before we got on each others nerves. But that isn't going to happen because I choke for various reasons. Some times it's because I simply am afraid of rejection. Other times its because I just don't know what to do next. And some times the vibe just isn't right to me and I go home and do laundry. It used to be I didn't recognize when a woman was interested. (Did I ever tell the story of how I left a girl's apartment at 2am after she had pretty much stripped clueless as to her intentions and she had to page me when I was in the car to come back? At one point I was pretty clueless.) I'm pretty cognizant of that now.

Jason, on the other hand, comes on strong. Lotta women have a somewhat negative impression of him. But because he opens the throttle and doesn't worry about the destination or the heat in the car, he tends to get places. That's a euphemistic way of saying Jason gets laid more and manages to have girlfriends more often than I do.

This is not to lament that I don't get laid enough (though I don't). More it's just to point out that in a lot of ways I want to be more like Jason. Worry less about rejection. Say something even if it doesn't necessarily fit the moment. Stick with the plan even if the vibe isn't just perfect. We're different people, and I am never going to turn into him. But a little bit more of his qualities is something for which I strive.



A second test, 3+ weeks, 3 phone calls, and I finally have confirmation that I am S.T.D. free. They sure got hold of me quick when they were positive. But when I'm all clean, it doesn't seem as important to them that I might want to have sex. Sheesh.