September 30th, 2003



Yeah, it's an overused term. I use it generally to indicate behavior where one avoid directness and instead tries to use indirect means such as conversation avoidance, dropping hints, subtle retaliation etc. for perceived slights.

I don't like it. Sometimes I do it. I hope my friends call me on it when I do.

I don't like it when my friends use it on me. It makes me feel less than, unworthy, lost and confused. If a person is direct, at least I know where I stand, and I don't question every single one of my actions. I don't wonder why someone won't talk to me.

I'm fighting myself on this one, though I don't know what to do. I do not know how to break that behavior, even for an instant. Do I go for the cathartic confrontation, or just wash my hands and walk away. The former may accomplish little and engender more permanent anger. The latter may be just as passive-aggressive as the treatment I received. Gentle inquiries seem to yield nothing.


Best friends

So I am making dinner for the beautiful Krisha tonight, and about 8 o'clock the phone rings. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow, as I do not attempt to pick up the phone. I tell her, that'll be Jason. If I answer, the first words out of his mouth will be Why are you answering the phone if you have a hot chick in your apartment?

So I go check the caller id just now. Hmmm, Jason Sloane. Voice mail message: You're learning.

I love my friends.