September 14th, 2003

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Pie night

The apple-cheddar was popular as always, as was the strawberry rhubarb. Had a large number of people over. Not going to list them all though. Will mention that Kim and Erin were the first two to arrive, and I really enjoyed talking with the two of them. And Jason, Melissa, and Elana were the last three here, and that was quite enjoyable as well. Should hang out with these people more.
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Random notes

Friday was code complete for the next release of the cruise product. Practically speaking, that means the deadline is today at 10 o'clock. My team will be close, but we are going to miss code complete. Couple of small points that will have to be fixed to officially get everything in. What this means is that we have to decide if we are going to deliver the new features in this release, or slip them to the next release. Big money involved. Our team loses money if we slip to the next release, but if we squeeze it in to this release, we have the change to jeopardize the entire company's release, which would be even more money. I can't get myself worked up about it either way though, because of all the work we put in to the last release.

Personally, I'm feeling like I am harming… no, that's not the right word. Can't think of the right word right now. It's there, but not coming to the forefront of my conscious. Anyway, I feel like I am being remiss in not acknowledging all the people who came to Pie Night yesterday. There were a lot of people, and if I tried to list everyone, I would forget some. I got to officially meet cagekitten last as well as Chuck. Ms. Cage is gorgeous, but I feel like I want to feed her. Wait, I did. I am pulled in different directions. I want to be popular, but I also don't want to care. I was heartened by so many people coming, but the total number kind of overwhelmed me. My own apartment started making me feel like I do at other parties where I usually just shut down. Then everyone just melted away to attend the pirate thing at the Mercury. I felt much better. The most enjoyable parts of the evening to me was hanging out with Erin and Kim at the beginning, playing domestic eith Kim sometime during the middle, and hanging out at the end with Jason, Melissa and Elana. I miss that one to one (or small group) contact. Haven't had a lot of it lately.

Brings me to another note. I am watching Following right now. Movie directed by Christopher Nolan, before he did Memento. I am having a real tought time watching it alone. There are all sorts of movie and TV situations that I have difficulty watching alone. They tend to bring me out of my comfort zone, and I want someone to be there with me to provide an alternate comfort zone for me. Haven't had that since I dated April, long may she rot. Really wanting that presence tonight (and lately in general). Not April. Fuck her. Bitch treated me like shit. No way am I missing that. Missing the comfortable presence of a girlfriend. But I'm a long way from that, and I don't know how much further it will be til I get there. Meanwhile, I have to watch this movie in 15 minute increments. Some of them with the sound off and subtitles turned on. Makes it flatter and less ominous to me. Nolan has done a good job of making me care for the lead, but has seen fit to insert him into obsessions that unnerve me. I identify with him though, so I don't want him (and thus me) to go through them. So I turn the sound off and watch it pieces at a time. Wish there was someone here to get me through that.

Yeah, I have some neurotic tendencies.

Haven't read anything through in a while. Keep picking up books and putting them down. None of them are holding my attention for long. THey are good books, but they aren't sucking me in. I so dearly want to be sucked in to a good story. I don't know if it's me, or the books I am reading. On the other hand, I picked up a copy of the Atlantic Monthly on the newstand last week. I've never read this magazine before, but already I am loving it. Long articles. This one has one on shipping and modern day pirates in the South China Sea. Another on Rupert Murdoch and the fight to relax the media ownership rules. Couple of others I haven't gotten to yet. Back to the books though. THinking maybe I should re-read a book I love just to get back into the swing of things, then try to tackle some of these books that I haven't gotten very far with. Hmm, ended a sentence with a preposition there. Gonna be a rebel and not fix it.

One last random note. I heated a pot pie for dinner, then left the oven on and open for 3+ hours at 400 degrees. I am definitely out of sorts.

Things to do this week: get my bike fixed.