March 16th, 2003


I Saw U

Friday Night

It's already a blur somewhat. I don't have quite the power to retain memories as I used to.

People I saw, but didn't have much of a conversation with: seelenschwester, who looked quite nice. tasty_ghoul, briefly. izador. betanoir. balzacq. Chris and alexiarnps. Cajun. Tavier. dyann. attictroll.

I played pool for the first time in a month. Only 4 games though. Still taking some time away from it though. Was watching for a bit, and Zermeer (sp?) looked rather nice and was holding the table. So I put my name on the board to play. Chatted with her a bit as she was playing, but as luck would have it, she lost just before I came up. I beat 3 people and then lost to Charles. More importantly, I was actually shooting decently. Not as good as I can, but better than I was in January/February. Karri got a shot of me playing.

[Phil playing pool]

People I did converse with: josefinek, Tina, sadeesabbat & darksabbat. Beowulf. insolent, whose ass I grabbed. In return, she went for the left nipple as I was leaving. yourspleen. mariquita, who I thought was gonna use my computer yesterday, but I bet she forgot being as drunk as she was. corvuscrx. happygothboy, although he was pretty toasted. tardorama was being his usual tard self.

I'm forgetting a lot of people I saw, and probably some I talked to even. Deal. Remember, your life does not depend on getting mentioned as being seen by me.

Saturday Night

Wasn't sure I was going to go out, as I wasn't feeling too hot. But it was dangergirljones birthday celebration, and evillinn said she be out with her new hair. So I dutifully showered, primped and called a cab. Damn glad I did. I had the best night I think I've had since mid-December.

First off, badjuju for Amanda's get-together. Veronica, Jason, Molly, spirochete and superleanne were all there. Marques, one of the guys who works for me had a table right next to them. Amanda seemed to be having a good time, and good time, and was kind of emotional and touchy-feely. Hugged me three times in 15 minutes. She looked damn good though.

Stopped in briefly at the Vogue. Said hi to Tigue (sp?). Saw Bill and who I think was Dawn. Danced like her anyway.

At the Mercury, I had many conversations with people. Flirted muchly. Danced. Didn't play pool.

Talked with thogs_travels, twice even. Second time he was standing by the pole, and I didn't notice him. He seemed quite amused by that. Apparently people don't often tell him he blends in. Flirted with emmrldize who was having a girls' night out with two lovely friends. Tucked a dollar into their bras for the lap dance show. Don't forget to email me, so I can invite you to dinner sometime and not have the email bounce. Talked with Kalen (sp?) and invited her to Pie Night™. Talked with Augustine, and his friend Jen introduced herself to me. In fact, this happened to me numerous times tonight. Having women come up to me to talk, instead of me approaching them. Made me feel all pretty and stuff. Talked several times with josefinek and once with happygothboy. Eventually, evillinn showed up with ravenmimura and Elizabeth, so I got to see her beautiful hair. Also, in spite of her self-consciousness tonight, she looked really good. Talked briefly with calimbrium. Saw Beowulf. Saw vorona. Think I saw euterpe35. Talked some with coulrophobe, but she had to run off and harass someone else. Talked briefly with Michelle. Saw hadaverde. leenerella and Luke were out. Chatted with yourspleen who was sitting with Sera from the crack bored. realityhammer and ledaatomica were back in the pool room, as were Tom & Judy. Talked with domestinatrix and the other half, thedivas. Watched hyperborea dance some, but never got a chance to talk with her, as she always seemed deep in conversation with kneel23. vulture23 and ladylygeia eventually arrived. They had spent most of the night over at the Bad JuJu with his sisters. Lance eventually migrated to the Mercury as well, but he wouldn't let me take him home. Saw sarmonster's roommate, but I didn't see her. devilpuppy was working the door as usual. And seelenschwester did a bang-up job as DJ again. That's all the recap for now. I'm tired.


Too early to rise

Woke up too early. 9:15 a.m. Got to sleep around 5 a.m. This means that unless I can take a nap right quick, I am gonna be zonked out tonight and probably not make it out tonight. And I do want to go out tonight. Am hoping there's some golf on television, so I can nod off right quick.


Out again tonight & The Getaway

Just like I was when I was 21. Out three nights in a row. Well, I will be. Planning on hitting krautboy's shindig at the Vogue tonight. Come flirt with me.

[The Getaway marquee]In other news, I just finished watching The Getaway starring Steve McQueen and Ali MacGraw. Steve and Ali steal $500,000 from a bank after Ali screws a prison official to win Steve's early release on parole. Then everything goes bad and they dodge the law, their partners, and other criminals to get away. All while fighting between themselves over Ali's indiscretion to get Steve out. Damn fine movie. I think this is the first Peckinpah movie I've seen. And that Ali MacGraw is hot. I'd sleep with her in a heartbeat.


When I turned 21

I made a comment in my last entry about going out like when I was 21. In reality, I am not going out like I did when I was 21. When I turned 21, I was just over 9 months sober. Not in any kind of good head space either. I really wanted to drink, but I was afraid of what would happen if I did. Beginning then, I would wander to downtown Moscow, Idaho and traipse through the bars. I'd just go in, then walk right back out. Not completely sure why. To see if anyone I knew would be in there, I suppose. Though I had no friends at that point. Hoping someone would welcome me in and make me feel at home. I felt at home nowhere. Not at the A.A. meetings I went to. Not at the bars. Not at home. Not at work. Not at school.

Eventually, I would settle down in Friendship Square on Main Street, and watch people go in and out of the Garden Lounge. For three or four hours every night. Starting when I was 21 and continuing through the following January. How I wanted to become accepted as part of that crowd! They seemed to be having so much fun. Girls would be laughing with boys, and many of them might even be hooking up. Not I. I just sat at the fountain and watched.