One of the things that a lot of the touchy feely people in A.A. tell you to do a lot of is make a list of what you are thankful for. I'm not much one for that advice. Because it's usually given when the advisee is feeling shitty and hates the world, and when I am in that state, makign a list of "I'm thankful fors" just irritates the hell out of me and concentrates my thinking on the things I hate and am not thankful for. And I am ending a lot of sentences in this post in prepositions. Normally I hate that and will go and edit them to have slightly more proper grammer. Not so this time.
Anyway, I am not against making such a list when one truly does feel grateful for the life one has. And I do, so here's my Thanksgiving list.
I am thankful for:
- Old friends: This past year I renewed my friendship with Jason, and we are now closer than ever. He's saved my ass and been a needed kick in the pants frequently this year.
- New friends: In February, I met Deirdre. What started off as a crush for me has turned into a close friendship when I really needed one. Several other close female friends drifted off in 2001 as they became attached at the hip to some boy or another. Deirdre has become the person I turn to when I need a woman's perspective. When I thought someone was out of my league, she was the one who straightened me out and convinced me to make an attempt.
- Family: We're not talk everyday close. Nor am I able to tell them everything. But in this day and age of feuding families and broken homes, their love for me is constant.
- My employer: I sometimes get really frustrated with my job, and sometimes I am extremely unmotivated. But really, it's almost the best place I've ever worked. And by far the best software place to work. I can't recommend it highly enough.
- Guinevere: She's needy, but she keeps me warm at night and reminds me I am a selfish bastard who should pay attention to others.
- The drama filled Seattle goth/industrial/whatever scene: In spite of the fact that I am not goth, know nothing of industrial music, and wear khaki and beige when not at the club, the local crowd has accepted me and actually made me relatively popular. You guys (collectively, and some individually) have done wonders for my confidence and self-esteem. I am a constantly growing person, but the people I have met since January have caused me to become leaps and bounds ahead of my mental state at this time last year. A lot of times, one sees ones own progress only after a long retrospective. Lately though, I can see myself behaving in new ways immediately. That is all from your help. Sorry, no cash prize with this thank you.
- And last, and probably most important, I am thankful to the woman I have spent much time with the last 3 months. I've enjoyed every minute of it. You've been incredibly patient and accepting of my quirks, while not throwing the full force of yours on me. We've got stuff to talk about, but whatever way we go, you will be my friend first. I will enjoy seeing foreign and independent movies with you that no one else likes. I have enjoyed every minute I've spent with you.
There are lots of things for which I could be thankful this Thanksgiving. They are much too numerous to list here. I tried to list the biggest so far in terms of some imaginary scale. I love you all.
And yes, I know it isn't Thanksgiving anymore. Don't get picky, I have not yet slept.