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Apologies - King Rat
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gkr
Apologies
One cannot apologize without acknowledging wrongdoing. In other words, one cannot say "I did nothing wrong" while apologizing.
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Comments
stryper666 From: stryper666 Date: January 3rd, 2009 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry that I'm perfect...
assassinpandora From: assassinpandora Date: January 3rd, 2009 12:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry you feel that way, Phil.
kindofstrange From: kindofstrange Date: January 3rd, 2009 02:44 am (UTC) (Link)
God that's suuuuuuch a dick move.

Nicely done.
geekalpha From: geekalpha Date: January 3rd, 2009 01:15 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry it annoys you that I did nothing wrong.
chiaspod From: chiaspod Date: January 3rd, 2009 01:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Really? Because I'm pretty sure the "I'm sorry there was a misunderstanding" is a legitimate apology.
gkr From: gkr Date: January 3rd, 2009 01:27 am (UTC) (Link)
apology = "an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret"

"I'm sorry I was unable to impart my meaning" is an apology. "I'm sorry you didn't get what I was saying" is not. "I'm sorry there was a misunderstanding" avoids the admission.
(Deleted comment)
gkr From: gkr Date: January 3rd, 2009 01:53 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm not turning an apology into an admission of error. That's what the definition is. Removing the admission is turning it in to something else.

An acknowledgment of unintended hurt is (or can be) valuable without it being an apology. But it doesn't make it an apology. Also, an apology can be made without admitting intentional hurt. One can admit discourtesy or unintentional error. "I didn't realize my words would upset you." is an apology. Not for upsetting someone, but for lack of realization.

The reason why it's important to me is that I think it's important to enable people to apologize or acknowledge. When the distinction is removed between the two we lose something very powerful. Sure, people could continue to do the action formerly known as apologizing and it could still make an impact on the receiver. But it makes your sentences much longer if you have to describe that as "admitting error AND expressing regret" every time. It's an effin' useful word that loses something when it's conflated with "acknowledgment" or "regret."
gargoylettelc From: gargoylettelc Date: January 3rd, 2009 06:27 am (UTC) (Link)
I fully agree!
dreina From: dreina Date: January 3rd, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Im sorry. :(
laurelfan From: laurelfan Date: January 3rd, 2009 04:09 am (UTC) (Link)

sorry/sorrow

I get your point about apology, but apology is not the only meaning of 'sorry'. I don't know if this is true formally in the dictionary, but 'sorry' is often an expression of sorrow or sympathy, not apology (eg, "I'm sorry your dog died", "I'm sorry you have a terrible hangover"). Is there a word that works better for this case? Sorrowful?
gkr From: gkr Date: January 3rd, 2009 08:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: sorry/sorrow

Oh totally. I'm not annoyed about the use of the word "sorry." It's the word "apology."

What got my goat today was AirTran issuing an "apology" that claimed they did nothing wrong. They issued a statement of regret. An acknowledgment of unintentional harm to use loopback's terminology.
From: node Date: January 3rd, 2009 10:09 am (UTC) (Link)

i'll stick with what i learned from "swimming with sharks"

Don't apologize. It's a sign of weakness.
assassinpandora From: assassinpandora Date: January 3rd, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
I agree with you, by the way. Apology means acknowledging wrongdoing.
sirensanssmile From: sirensanssmile Date: January 4th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sorry.
gkr From: gkr Date: January 4th, 2009 03:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh you will be.
(Deleted comment)
gkr From: gkr Date: January 7th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I thought it would be up your alley.
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